17 Oct 2017

And Then An English Lesson...

You remember when I opined, some time ago, that there seemed to be nobody who was asked a question, be it on the tele-viewing appliance or the wireless signal receiving unit, who could offer an answer without starting with ‘Well,’? Then I noted that the word ‘So,’ was sneaking up the rankings. ‘So,’ really hasn’t made any meaningful breakthrough at this time but today a fellow on the tele-viewing appliance attempted to further its cause with this stunning start to his answer;
“Er, um, well, so today we....”
Pretty well covered all bases there my man.

That was today. Yesterday, I was lucky enough to catch the studio news presenters preamble prior to handing over to the reporter who was out in the storm to illustrate, via moving pictures and moving hair, what a storm is for those who’ve never ever stepped outside.
“How is it there where you are now then?”
Say what? Is that even English?

To conclude, I was in one of they really, really big electrical superstores today. You know the type; they sell everything from mobile phones all the way up – past TV sets with screens bigger than any wall in my humble abode – to fridges and freezers.

Well, perchance, I found myself perusing a bit o’ kit close to an elderly couple of which the lady of the pair, under the close supervision of the sales guy, was giving one of they new generation of re-chargeable vacuums a test run. I couldn’t let the opportunity pass so I stepped forward and said, “Be very careful madam. I took up their offer to try one of those a couple of weeks ago and they wouldn’t let me out until I’d vacuumed the whole damn store.” Husband laughed heartily and her handed back the hoover right quick. The sales child looked a tad confused.

On the subject of shopping, I see the police, owing to lack of funding of course, are going to limit  ‘investigating’ the crime of shoplifting. This is an obvious win-win as it’ll ease the police budget and I’m sure it’ll fix a fare few family budgets. The police do, however, still have money aplenty to paint their pandas as rainbows. I guess, in these modern times, it’s just a matter of getting your priorities right, right? This downhill racing’s really getting popular is it not?

Quote;  Horace Walpole.

“Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he isn't. A sense of humour was provided to console him for what he is.”

No comments: