23 Oct 2017

And Then, No Money...

Just a quick one on my reflections on what a weird country we’re living in owing to the news that some{?} police forces have stated that, owing to budget cuts and shortages of personnel, some{?} remembrance day gatherings will be cancelled as they won’t be able to ‘supervise’ them.

To put this in perspective, funds and folk are available to take part in various police ‘events’ such as those shown below;

                 Bears Finger

               PandaHigh

But not available for remembrance day gatherings. The things you need to dwell on are twofold. It seems that in these modern days, people gathering to silently honour and pay their respects to those that gave their lives to protect this country throughout time, now need a police security presence. Think about that.

Okay, forget the security aspect and just use their word – supervision -  these fellows below need police supervision? Really?

                 Remember

Quote;  Terry Pratchett.

“I get it,' said the prisoner. 'Good Cop, Bad Cop, eh?'
If you like.' said Vimes. 'But we're a bit short staffed here, so if I give you a cigarette would you mind kicking yourself in the teeth?”

19 Oct 2017

And Then, Shop Again...

As regular, and indeed irregular** readers will no doubt have noticed I do like to look for any opportunity to lighten the burden of everyday shopping and today was no exception.

I was excitedly shopping for lemons for her indoors. I’d found the required item and was meandering my way to the checkout when I chanced to pass an elderly lady asking a box toting store manager looking chap where the cling film was located.
”Certainly madam. It’s right here.” He said, politely shuffling the old girl along six inches.

With an opportunity offered to heighten yet further the exciting task of purchasing lemons, I tapped the chap on the shoulder and enquired where I could find the cling film. His eyes did indeed roll to the top of their sockets as he jabbed a finger at the film. He laughed when he saw me laughing and we joined in jolly shopping banter as we moved on down the store. 

Eventually he stopped and, strangely after discussing how dumb some  folk are, announced he’d forgotten where he was bound with his box.

I finally made it to the checkout and placed my solitary bag o’ lemons on the conveyor. I was next with one other customer behind me. Stuff checked, price agreed, money presented, change and receipt received I bade the checkout girl a cheery farewell and strode away towards the exit. 
“Excuse me!” The girl called loudly after me, “You forgot your lemons.”  Damn!

So there you go. Be careful poking fun at dumb folk as your turn to be dumb and poked is just a heartbeat away.

**If  you do happen to be an irregular reader, may I suggest a quick trip to your local pharmacist? They should be able to recommend something available over the counter to get you regular again.

Quote;  Richard Feynman.

“I would rather have questions that can't be answered than answers that can't be questioned.”

17 Oct 2017

And Then An English Lesson...

You remember when I opined, some time ago, that there seemed to be nobody who was asked a question, be it on the tele-viewing appliance or the wireless signal receiving unit, who could offer an answer without starting with ‘Well,’? Then I noted that the word ‘So,’ was sneaking up the rankings. ‘So,’ really hasn’t made any meaningful breakthrough at this time but today a fellow on the tele-viewing appliance attempted to further its cause with this stunning start to his answer;
“Er, um, well, so today we....”
Pretty well covered all bases there my man.

That was today. Yesterday, I was lucky enough to catch the studio news presenters preamble prior to handing over to the reporter who was out in the storm to illustrate, via moving pictures and moving hair, what a storm is for those who’ve never ever stepped outside.
“How is it there where you are now then?”
Say what? Is that even English?

To conclude, I was in one of they really, really big electrical superstores today. You know the type; they sell everything from mobile phones all the way up – past TV sets with screens bigger than any wall in my humble abode – to fridges and freezers.

Well, perchance, I found myself perusing a bit o’ kit close to an elderly couple of which the lady of the pair, under the close supervision of the sales guy, was giving one of they new generation of re-chargeable vacuums a test run. I couldn’t let the opportunity pass so I stepped forward and said, “Be very careful madam. I took up their offer to try one of those a couple of weeks ago and they wouldn’t let me out until I’d vacuumed the whole damn store.” Husband laughed heartily and her handed back the hoover right quick. The sales child looked a tad confused.

On the subject of shopping, I see the police, owing to lack of funding of course, are going to limit  ‘investigating’ the crime of shoplifting. This is an obvious win-win as it’ll ease the police budget and I’m sure it’ll fix a fare few family budgets. The police do, however, still have money aplenty to paint their pandas as rainbows. I guess, in these modern times, it’s just a matter of getting your priorities right, right? This downhill racing’s really getting popular is it not?

Quote;  Horace Walpole.

“Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he isn't. A sense of humour was provided to console him for what he is.”

16 Oct 2017

And Then, It’s All In The Angle...

I have to put my hands up to the fact I stole the pictures below from Guide Fawkes comments, sorry and thank you, and also have to admit to not having a scooby who the front man is, wot TV channel it is – other than the fact it says EN Direct of course - or the political leanings of those in shot or wot the ‘protest’ is about other than they seem to like red.

Let’s give all the above no never mind for a moment; let’s just call it another chapter in that ol’ topic, the camera never lies.

Look closely and, under the trees, you’ll just make out a slack handful of wot I assume to be protesters protesting about who knows wot, with a red banner. See them? They’re out there in front of the TV reporter, ringed, resplendent in red neck protector.

Clipboard02

That shots not really getting the message across is it? Not very ‘exciting’ TV. However, using that depth of field photography thingy a handful can quickly become a full scale, almost revolutionary, protest. Just don’t pan that camera, okay? Now THAT’S good TV.

Clipboard01

Sorry, but it has to be said again, believe only half of what you see and nothing that you hear.

As for news of the Austrian election on BBC TV, it looks like that ol’ windy thingy Ophelia blew the result right out o’ sight.
Coming soon to all TV channels: Four hour specials featuring reporters standing in the wind and the rain discussing how Ophelia
was caused by Brexit and the rise of the far-right...

Quote;  Steve Wright.

“Everyone has a photographic memory but some don't have film.”